Sophie's Weight Loss Challenge

I've been on and off the scale these last 5 months quite often. I started with a 249.9 and now I'm 251.6.... not a huge difference. One to celebrate during pregnancy I'm sure. I'm skinnier around my hips and sides because my pretty little girl is using up all my baby stores. She's utilizing what I made over several years and making it into energy for the both of us.

Do I worry about gaining weight? Some days, very much so. Others not at all. I worry about what I eat. Am I eating too many carbs, too much fat, too little protein, not enough fruit/veggies, am I getting enough water? Exhausting to think about really. So I keep a journal. Just like I did before I was pregnant to keep me honest about food and snacking. But now it takes the guess work out of remembering if I ate well. On this diet- and not prego- I'd be ballooning. That's for sure. Too many carbs. But I found with calcium and iron supplements, vitamin C and prenatal vitamins, that I can feel very energized. This is all A LOT to think about. So sometimes I just... Don't.

For instance, I just ate a small slice of pound cake with peanut butter and strawberry jam on it. Eh. :D It was delicious. And awesome. And now I'm craving more. I try to eat dark chocolate to keep me eating less empty sugar calories and still satisfy my insistent creamy, butter, cakey, chocolatey, peanut buttery cravings. So do I eat meticulously? Obsess? Or live? I am trying to find a similar balance to the one I had before pregnancy. Feel healthy, eat healthy, indulge occasionally, and keep from obsessing.

There are too many factors to worry about. I am very worried some nights. But all I can control is my food and exercise. So I feel really guilty when I don't exercise or walk enough. Alas, life happens. Being sick and my sister visits, my world is shook up like a snow globe. Now the dust (or snow rather) is settling and I am back to walks and counting my food and drinking gallons of water. Back to water sporting and dancing and weight lifting and cardio- which is getting harder and harder, but I lower my standards to keep myself safe.

I feel like a juggler. Well, like a mommy. I know it's so important to keep myself active, even more so than the food. So... my goals this week are lofty. Dance at least once. Weight lift/strength training x2. Swimming 1+ times. And a walk every single day. 20 min, 30 min, 60 min. Whatever the weather and my health allows. The year of 2010 prepared me to have the self discipline now to be active. For that, I am very grateful.