Sophie's Weight Loss Challenge

So my last appointment with the midwife showed that I gained 7-8 lbs.

How do I feel about this? Well, I have to tell the pre-pregnancy Sophie to shut up. She wasn't handling it well. She scolded me and expected the doc to scold me. But wait! Why would she think this!!!

My instinct is to not gain... but why does someone gain weight? Eating too much, being lazy, too many portions, lots of fatty foods and sugar? Genetics, depression, gosh the list is long. And these aren't "excuses." They are just factors that lead to an outcome.

Yeah but..... those don't apply. To me.

I gained. A. Baby. A baby and her placenta and her amniotic fluid and her little apartment. She has crashed in my abdomen and she's getting bigger well... right now. She's growing and growing. I've got blood x10. So why so hard on myself? Well, I just trained myself last year to be really aware of the factors that lead to MY personal weight gain/loss. If I gain a pound or two, I ask myself what I did and what I can do.

Sophie... you gained 8 lbs. What have you been doing?
-Well, I eat 3-6 times per day.
Yeah, but how much are you eating?
-A lot some days and not a lot others. I dunno. I eat when I'm hungry and until I'm full.
Ok well lots of fat and sugar? Buttery treats and sugar and mochas and whatnot.
-No. not really. You are kind of accusing me. Occasionally I eat tasty stufff. I feel sick if I have too much fat. More sugar than before I guess.

See that's why.
-Umm no, you dumb b. I'm pregnant. I'm making a baby.
I thought you got fat.
-Yeah................ ok I'm making a baby! She's healthy and I eat healthy 80% of the time. Granted I hate green things... but I eat fruit all the time!!!
You obviously haven't been working out enough then.
- Uh whatever. I'm trying to stay active at least 5-6 days of the week. Ok I can't run. I can waddle. Ok you are being kind of hard on me. It's just not the same. I can't be like you. I'm pregnant. I need different food. I have cravings. I have food aversions. I have to do things like nap and sleep more. I have to lay down every night at 8pm because of my night terror stomach attacks. I cry about nothing, nothing at all. I can't diet. I can't eat greens like I want to. I feel guilty about it! WHY do you have to make it worse!?

See. Sophie is such a bitch. She doesn't get that I can't keep losing weight. If I gain it's a baby. I can't be worried when I do the best I can. I've been turning Sophie off lately. I hope she sticks around to motivate me when I am back to just me and a vacant apartment... I need her help to motivate me to stay healthy.