Sophie's Weight Loss Challenge

In the last year my weight was very steady. 2011 was great for weight gain/loss. I wonder why. Oh yeah. I was pregnant! I only gained around 17 lbs from the pregnancy. I'm currently about 7 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight.

My postpartum body has it's good things and bad things. My rack is large even when my waist is skinny so I have more of an hour glass. Grace's in-my-belly calorie consumption helped eliminate some unsightly stubborn spots on my hips. My pooch, which was there before is not really that different. I had stretch marks from a time when I was heavy and those came back but that was it.

That is just my appearance. The surface.

The deep tissue is a whole other matter. I have wobbly knees and ankles from the hormones still. I have a very weak pelvic floor and it lead to some serious back pain and chiropractic intervention. I sleep great some nights and TERRIBLE from boddy issues other nights. I think maintaining better sleep is a giant goal this year, i.e. we put the beds in their rightful places as we were sleeping on the futon for safer cosleeping. It finally got to me and we are switching back to the pillowtop mattress. My feet and legs ache more from poor posture from nursing/pelvic floor issues. Oh and then there was that whole part about getting my gallbladder out in Nov. 2011 that left a permanent kink in my back.

I have a high pain tolerance. What can I say... Once it diminishes your quality of life you should do something right? That takes some motivation and self awareness.

As I take inventory, I distinctly remember being in better shape and better toned in 2010. So although I cannot have that body back, I can make some changes and already have.

• Vitamins. Rainbow Light brand vitamins have made a marked difference for me than from cheapo brands I bought. I take a prenatal and a calcium.
• Walking. It heals so much. The soul and the body.
• Sleep earlier, up earlier. Some how the opposite produces a grumpier me on the same amount of sleep.
• GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I couped us up for long enough and need to overcome that dang ol' fear of getting out of the house.
• Be active- taking zumba 2x per week for 11 weeks is a start! Strength training too.
• Plan on a farm box- somehow I will make this happen...
• Less refined sugar and wheat. If I want it I need to make it. Eat correct portions too.

Goals:

• Better posture, body strength, tighten things up!
• Feel good about myself
• Lose between 4-6 pants sizes by Dec.
• Do another Warrior Dash
• Eat veggies, lean meats
• Active 4+ days per week

I think a 50 lb goal is good but I think it could take away from my other goals to lose inches and feel energized because I'd be counting pounds. I'm too busy and neurotic. Not necessary. Other things are more important.

:D

So my last appointment with the midwife showed that I gained 7-8 lbs.

How do I feel about this? Well, I have to tell the pre-pregnancy Sophie to shut up. She wasn't handling it well. She scolded me and expected the doc to scold me. But wait! Why would she think this!!!

My instinct is to not gain... but why does someone gain weight? Eating too much, being lazy, too many portions, lots of fatty foods and sugar? Genetics, depression, gosh the list is long. And these aren't "excuses." They are just factors that lead to an outcome.

Yeah but..... those don't apply. To me.

I gained. A. Baby. A baby and her placenta and her amniotic fluid and her little apartment. She has crashed in my abdomen and she's getting bigger well... right now. She's growing and growing. I've got blood x10. So why so hard on myself? Well, I just trained myself last year to be really aware of the factors that lead to MY personal weight gain/loss. If I gain a pound or two, I ask myself what I did and what I can do.

Sophie... you gained 8 lbs. What have you been doing?
-Well, I eat 3-6 times per day.
Yeah, but how much are you eating?
-A lot some days and not a lot others. I dunno. I eat when I'm hungry and until I'm full.
Ok well lots of fat and sugar? Buttery treats and sugar and mochas and whatnot.
-No. not really. You are kind of accusing me. Occasionally I eat tasty stufff. I feel sick if I have too much fat. More sugar than before I guess.

See that's why.
-Umm no, you dumb b. I'm pregnant. I'm making a baby.
I thought you got fat.
-Yeah................ ok I'm making a baby! She's healthy and I eat healthy 80% of the time. Granted I hate green things... but I eat fruit all the time!!!
You obviously haven't been working out enough then.
- Uh whatever. I'm trying to stay active at least 5-6 days of the week. Ok I can't run. I can waddle. Ok you are being kind of hard on me. It's just not the same. I can't be like you. I'm pregnant. I need different food. I have cravings. I have food aversions. I have to do things like nap and sleep more. I have to lay down every night at 8pm because of my night terror stomach attacks. I cry about nothing, nothing at all. I can't diet. I can't eat greens like I want to. I feel guilty about it! WHY do you have to make it worse!?

See. Sophie is such a bitch. She doesn't get that I can't keep losing weight. If I gain it's a baby. I can't be worried when I do the best I can. I've been turning Sophie off lately. I hope she sticks around to motivate me when I am back to just me and a vacant apartment... I need her help to motivate me to stay healthy.

I've been on and off the scale these last 5 months quite often. I started with a 249.9 and now I'm 251.6.... not a huge difference. One to celebrate during pregnancy I'm sure. I'm skinnier around my hips and sides because my pretty little girl is using up all my baby stores. She's utilizing what I made over several years and making it into energy for the both of us.

Do I worry about gaining weight? Some days, very much so. Others not at all. I worry about what I eat. Am I eating too many carbs, too much fat, too little protein, not enough fruit/veggies, am I getting enough water? Exhausting to think about really. So I keep a journal. Just like I did before I was pregnant to keep me honest about food and snacking. But now it takes the guess work out of remembering if I ate well. On this diet- and not prego- I'd be ballooning. That's for sure. Too many carbs. But I found with calcium and iron supplements, vitamin C and prenatal vitamins, that I can feel very energized. This is all A LOT to think about. So sometimes I just... Don't.

For instance, I just ate a small slice of pound cake with peanut butter and strawberry jam on it. Eh. :D It was delicious. And awesome. And now I'm craving more. I try to eat dark chocolate to keep me eating less empty sugar calories and still satisfy my insistent creamy, butter, cakey, chocolatey, peanut buttery cravings. So do I eat meticulously? Obsess? Or live? I am trying to find a similar balance to the one I had before pregnancy. Feel healthy, eat healthy, indulge occasionally, and keep from obsessing.

There are too many factors to worry about. I am very worried some nights. But all I can control is my food and exercise. So I feel really guilty when I don't exercise or walk enough. Alas, life happens. Being sick and my sister visits, my world is shook up like a snow globe. Now the dust (or snow rather) is settling and I am back to walks and counting my food and drinking gallons of water. Back to water sporting and dancing and weight lifting and cardio- which is getting harder and harder, but I lower my standards to keep myself safe.

I feel like a juggler. Well, like a mommy. I know it's so important to keep myself active, even more so than the food. So... my goals this week are lofty. Dance at least once. Weight lift/strength training x2. Swimming 1+ times. And a walk every single day. 20 min, 30 min, 60 min. Whatever the weather and my health allows. The year of 2010 prepared me to have the self discipline now to be active. For that, I am very grateful.

When I was flying to Georgia 3 weeks ago, I was so sore it was miserable to travel.

Is it a set back when you have a discouraging night? Maybe it's more like a blip. Anyhow, I wanted to do zumba with Beth and the class was full. So.. naturally I got ballsy and thought, "of course we will just do another class while we are here."

Boot camp it is!!

And ouchy ouchy ouch. I am glad I tried. AND I'm certain, if actually at my own pace, I could have finished a whole hour. But it wasn't my pace was it? It was the pace of the lovely little college girls. I wonder if being spiteful is helpful or not, but I feel not all girls are working out for the right reasons. But hey, what ARE the right reasons? Because they got fat and unfit. That's my reason. More power to them for going. I wish I had. I was too busy being in love and overachieving in college.

But hey, Beth and I did what we could, until I felt like vomiting- which would have been great in front of Jillian Michaels but not all those girls. So alas I had a terrible attitude and since I was mentally prepared for a dance class, I gave up miserably. It's been a long while since I did that. And I think it has been a long time coming.

Dance classes are empowering, if you aren't looking in the mirror too much. Forgetting it all to music and dancing to the beat is what gets my blood pumping. I know I get mentally prepared with just a little diddy or tune... and go! I'm off!

I did walk with Beth afterward... alas there was never enough stretching in the world to truly reverse was is turning out to be a bad series of events. Guess what I did today? Not exercise... sat in a cold house curled up waiting to leave. Then I sat in a car for ohhhhhhh 5 hours and now I'm sitting in a restaurant. And then I'm on a plane for almost 4 hours!! Anything over 2.5 or 3 hours is miserable. I'm not only cramping, I can't possibly eject myself with any agility from my seat and out the plane if these series of events keeps turning out unlucky. I highly doubt it. (She literally knocks on wood.)

So what do I do now? Mope? Pout? Stomp? I sure feel like it. But eh... I'm just gonna take a nap at my sister's house in Georgia a short 13 hours from now, and then I will.... hop back up and exercise again. To music. And feel 100% better. I'll eat an enormous amount of fruit and veggies. No pastas or breads. And avoid dairy. Just like always. I'll treat myself of course... but I know my body will kill me when I end the day without a good old work out. My body, she's definitely addicted. It's annoying and probably the only reason I exercise some days, since that amnesia about how good I feel is almost instantaneous with departing for last exercise session.

Ok... vent over. Happiness is just right there. I just have to reach out and grab it. Then I'm off and running yet again.

(PS this pain is WORSE, way WORSE than when I did the Warrior Dash. Time to go walk the terminal and stretch for the next two hours....)

I bought a pass. A fitness pass. I didn't find it to be like enrolling in Curves. I didn't go into Curves.

Instead- I printed a calendar of all the fitness classes I could drop-in on. I planned my week to go to at least 5 sessions and to try lots of new things.

This week:

Mindfulness from the mat: This was a "yoga" class that was actually more about the mind. I think if I had been younger and more foolish I would have seen this as a waste of time. Yes, it was more about meditation and it didn't get the blood pumping. My obsession with exercise being to see results and see them now. But I realize that I need to control my mind just has much during this process. I need to find focus. Meditation is something I need to practice... maybe on my own. Now, while this wasn't exercise... the 2.25 mile walk home was.

Turbokick: I awoke at 5:50am. I couldn't go back to sleep. A pesky part of my brain was telling me, "you have a 6:30am kicking boxing class. Wake UP!" So I did. And I did. Go to the class that is. I was dying 10 minutes in. The old me would have given up, paid too much attention to her ailments, and been self conscious. The... current me was determined to make the one hour work out count, knew that everyone else was too concerned about themselves to follow the uncoordinated but determined girl in the back, and, hey, I paid for it so I better do it. I loved the instructor. I felt wonderful afterward and I was dripping like I came in from a storm.

Sunset Yoga: Exactly as it sounds. I made it count as a work out... really pushing myself. It showed. My sweat was dripping from my face. I have come to value those precious droplets rather than detest them with shame. They are little badges of courage and persistence. Thank goodness they have clean towels for mopping up. Sunset pretty. Wear better pants next time.

Zumba: The first night was incredible. I makes a tremendous difference which instructor is leading. Jenny... or was it Chelsea? Was creative, funny, and neverending. The place was packed. The women (only women) were dancing and laughing and tripping around... just like me. No one really approached me and I didn't really approach anyone, but I wasn't self conscious. I realized I was the biggest girl there. And for what I lacked (or held) in size, I was determined to replace with focus and light-hearted eagerness. Of course, this instructor was a substitute and not a regular. Bummer.

The second night. Well it was like night and day. Lets just say that the instructor was less personable, less coordinated and less talented, poor soul. I wouldn't stay motivated if she were the only instructor. There is one other I'm looking forward to trying too. But that may well be after I get back from Georgia.

Conclusions:

• Wow do you need to hydrate, before and after these classes. Good lord I've never loved water so much
• Wardrobe needs some tweaking for comfort
• I can only rely on myself to go, no one else can motivate me
• I am excited to try many others and feel that excitement to stay motivated
• No eating for hours before
• Sweating until I'm soaked is... rewarding... and disgusting
• Ice. Ice those calves, feet, and shins
  

Next week is a short week, but I plan to try another yoga class, an ab class or strength training, and something like a step class. I will introduce Emily to Zumba and we can dance the night away. I am plagued by mistress nature so I have gained several lbs in water weight, but I always find it comforting when it leaves. My weight dips down yet again. And my closest goal, of losing 10% of my weight, has another 14ish lbs to go before xmas. I know I will do it. And I'll do it while eating how I want. Healthy but happy.

Things are good, and I hope the next few weeks are motivated and filled with a balanced workout routine. Focus. Focus. Focus.

If you are anything like me, the true obstacle is your own mind. How do I trick myself into working out 3 to 4 times per week? How do I eat healthy but not completely and radically eliminate things I love to eat? It's not about the concrete- it all about the emotional baggage I have bouncing around in my head and all the stress I invite into my life. BOUNDARIES people!!

Here is my only warning for anyone on a diet and/or exercise program. It is shared with the utmost sincerity and genuine sympathy that some days or some weeks/months/years we all suck at keeping up with our goals. I have been there. 2008 was great-ish. 2009 not so much.... and now that I'm mostly through 2010 I've found things that work. Not workouts or meals.

Most useful advise I have ever been given: my old doc, Doctor Mac, taught me the key to making a diet/exercise program into a lifestyle that sticks is to anticipate failure and know the triggers.

I'm not saying anticipate to fail. I'm saying it's one long, big race of life. Lots of ups and lots of downs. There are small failures like bad eating days and non exercise weeks... those I try to never look at negatively if I was able to re-enlist myself into Sophie Lifestyle. But there are big failures when I go through 2009 and gain... oh about 30+ lbs.

Anticipating these obstacles and potential failure means you can prepare for them. Knowing your triggers means you can avert them. All you need are techniques and plans that fit you, so be self aware, honest, and you will be unstoppable (most of the time)!! Quit living from one day to the next. Giving yourself a good month ahead forecast of your plans can drastically help you plan to make any activity a set in stone habit.

Anticipate those weeks or those days that are tough:

• visiting home
• on vacation (going to GA soon to see sister)
  
• we all get sick sometimes! (but being healthier prevents some sickness, but not all)
  
• aunt flow visits (which affects a guy in a relationship too)
• feeling down or depressed (happened to me recently)
• lack of routine (i use a journal to organize my week with flexibility)
  
• lack of excitement (working on this one)
  
• lack of creativity
• finally the worst... STRESS!!
  

I wish I could say I only experience these things infrequently... but no. I actually battle with these lifestyle interruptions all the time and just like everyone else does. What I have learned is to say no to visiting home, because just because I can, doesn't mean I should. I am doing good and I see my family a lot. What I need is focus... and sometimes that means looking forward to the lazy weekend.

But I can say that I feel like the stress in my life has gone from 100 to about 20 in the last year. And I still fluctuate. But it has helped me be a happier person. It's all about choices.

For me, I look back at my triggers. What made 2009 a bad year health wise? I'm taking the holistic approach that everything I breathe, eat, do (and dont' do), think, and say affect my health:

• a job I was unhappy with was a trigger of stress
• commuting was a physical, financial, emotional stress
• visiting home without boundaries caused marital stress
• money and debt and a bloated budget
  
• careers and their outlooks
  
• wanting a baby but choosing to wait
• too much stuff cluttering my house
  
• the list goes on...
  

What I have not completely learned to deal with is how to get back on the horse of lifestyle after lack of motivation and excitement. I GET BORED!! Easily. But I think SIL Beth is right, get excited about something. Anything. So I bought fitness pass that lets me do all sorts of drop in classes. When the money aspect of paying for the nearly $200 I looked to my finances to trim my budget. Cut down wasteful cellphone plan, hello holistic yoga, zumba, kick boxing, strength training, and dance!!!! I knew my trigger for guilt and stress was being bored and spending the money- problem solved!! Disaster averted.

I'm not a dieter. It brings stress into my life. I've ruminated on this before. I want to eat how I'm always going to eat. Less bread/pasta/carbs, less dairy, less sugar. I found a diet (the paleo diet) that is similar to what I do, but even thinking about doing it would psych me out. What I have is working for me, and whatever you find has to work for you. Eat the way that makes you happy- that is healthy. That's the ultimate goal right?

Now that you reflect on your triggers that stop you, hinder you, stress you out completely when it comes to your tailor fit lifestyle- don't be afraid to start slashing and fighting off those stressors judo style. Be ruthless!! If you don't need stress, why invite it to stay.

Here's the changes I made (promise it's my last list! i love lists):

• no job, no commute
• saved a shit load of money
• paid off some debt
• trimmed the budget, I was ruthless!!
• gave a bunch of crap away to goodwill... carloads people!
• gave money to charity
• listened to my body
• said no!!!!!!! just because I can doesn't mean I should concerning anything
• made homemade things
• felt like a productive family member running our life
• exercised 3-4 times per week
• got a weekly farm box with tons of veggies
• supported local business
• became a locavore (local eater)
  
• didn't waste food
• cut out dairy (for soy) with exceptions
• cut out red meat
• cut out processed foods with flour or sugar
• ate the three above on a rare basis to meet cravings
• organized my life and house
  
• defined my values
• drank more water
• drive less

I have learned that if you SPEND LESS- YOU CAN EARN LESS. I am fighting a consumerist lifestyle for one of value. Once I figured this out, it was easy. What does that have to do with losign weight? Everything. What drives me to spend and earn also affects my lifestyle habits. I had to completely reevaluate my entire life design. Now, after almost a year of hard work to reverse and change my habits, I feel like I can proudly control my life as a lifestyle designer.

What are you doing to eliminate stress? Anything that you can limit or eliminate is going to make you feel 10 lbs lighter. Try it. People are going to respect your choices, but only after you make DELIBERATE life choices. Don't willy-nilly it. Living a deliberate life is my biggest goal, over losing weight. I have achieved both! But the weight was falling off once I was living my purposeful life.

Soo there are a lot of upsides to working out. There is the losing the weight thing. There is the feeling better and having more energy part. There is also improved sleep. But my favorite is the electric jolt to the ol' libido. If this is TMI, I will NOT apologize. People need to know this. They need to know it not from some doc on the Good Morning show, but from a reformed fat chick that is living it.

There is this switch in a woman's head already that can turn off. It has all those emotional and intimacy centers and if those aren't triggered, that switch ain't turning on. And after four years of marriage... almost five, it is apparent that sex gets better and better and better and better. But it gets farther and fewer between. It's not only the switch that kills the sex appetite:

• stress
• poor sleep
• feeling down
• low energy
• low self esteem

I've been through each one of these obstacles. I'm not a girl with a husband who begs for it... I BEG FOR IT! Ladies and gentlemen, the stereotypes are broken! Kris is also affected by the weather, his mood, his day, his stress, and most importantly his physical activity (or lack thereof (which is one of those instances that I love to use the rare thereof)).

He is playing football, he is getting to bed at good times, he's eating well (ish), and he's healthier and happier, as am I, than I think we were when we were in school or waiting for a steady income.

So to all my peeps out in interwebs land. Exercise. Your vajayjay and male junk need it! You'll be getting some and giving some more than before and you'll feel sexier for it. It's a lovely cycle.

You exercise, you feel better, you do it, you feel sexier, so you feel great about working out!

I finished the Warrior Dash today.

What do you say after a test of your will? It was only a test for your eyes only and keeping it private and close is just like all the hard work you did to prepare and all along the race. You are alone. It's just yours. I had to do it. I did. No one could help me. I didn't need it.

There is something to be said about finishing last because it's still finishing. There is pride in that. Thank goodness I was among other tired warriors at the end and it wasn't much like a green mile. It was a final last push that you can always find the energy to do. You think you will die walking up those hills. You think you will fall down you are so tired. But you don't. You can't fail. You always find the silver lining in a battle. You learn to revel in the bruises and aches as the runner's high rushes through your mind.

Thinking of absolutely nothing has never been so easy. (That is until the kid who talked and talked and talked interrupted my groove until I told him to be quiet). But you feel the worries about feet and aches and pains and normal worries dissipate. I thought about nothing except- "Fuck these hills never end.... fuck these hills are killer... fuck ANOTHER hill?"

Hahaha but hearing my family at the end, when I could see the end myself- that was a real moment. I nearly cried. But then I sucked in my breath. I ran to the fire and leaped over it. I know it doesn't look nearly as grand in real life as it does in my head, but that's not what matters. What's in my head is what matters. I'm much much stronger. And it was more mental than anything. My goals were to finish the whole thing and all obstacles in under 1.5 hours. Boy do I surprise myself when not only do I finish no questions asked, I do it in an hour!

I look better, feel stronger, and the confidence is move unwavering.

That's my motto- it could've been worse. Which is true. I'm not being passive with this exercise thing, I'm just not a professional athlete so the standards are different.

Progress- well there were definitely scones and ice cream involved in the last week. And according to Kris (the keeper and only person to monitor my weight (ie not me)) says I'm still losing and making progress.

Rewards this week were too much about food, so I set out on Sunday with Kris for some physical motivations: work out pants, work out shorts, two work out tanks, and running shoes all from Adidas. They were all from an outlet store (meaning all of that for around $100 is a steal, or at least I feel that way). I LOVE MY PANTS! The shoes need some more tweaking to prevent reinjuring my arch, but the tanks are awesome because they have a built in bra!!

So it would seem... my plan is working so far. I have the urge to spout of numbers of how many days I worked out or inches I lost. I don't think that's a fair estimate of my progress really. Nope, seeing my body is the only sure fire way for anyone and most importantly MY-FRIGGIN-SELF to evaluate progress.




Kris is mourning the lose of my big bottom... I told him to give it time, the saddlebags will clear out and leave a beautiful fanny. I haven't been working on arms a lot- and I see these pictures and want to criticize, but it's not fair. Look at the chick, she's been working hard. Give her a chance and she do more bell flies, anterior raises, etc. to work those arms into shape.

Especially if she is preparing for the WARRIOR DASH in North Plains Oregon!!! Sept. 11 at 10:30am I am going out on my own to kick some major ass. (It'll be my ass and I hope I get through every challenge even if I take lots of breaks or have to try them over again.) I'm hoping to have Kris video tape some of it- because after that it will be baby making time!

If I can do a WARRIOR DASH- surely I can carry a baby and give birth. Right...?

I'm losing steam- not because I'm not seeing results. I am. I can tell my metabolism is BOOSTED.

But I hear myself say things like,
"How the heck am I still losing weight?" "I don't know why but the lbs keep coming off."

These thoughts mean: I'm doing nothing and I logically always gain when I do nothing. I am 1) being too critical 2) too lazy. It's a paradox. I work out, but the mindset is... it's not enough. But then I see results. What the heck is wrong with my head?!

Back to motivation. Ok. Here's the deal. I have a plan. I can't share it though. I think that jinxes it. But I will include here what I'm doing that's radically different and for the better:

1. No scale in my house until the (undisclosed amount of time has ended)
2. Measurements only before and after
3. Forget about managing food. I'm a well oiled machine now. I just have some "don'ts" that are more like "avoids" that are a little flexible: pork/red and/or fatty meat, caffeine, liquid dairy, finally SUGAR.
4. Active (walking/cleaning/etc) does NOT replace a muscle/cardio exercise. Supplement and complement. The more you walk the less you need to supplement, but to go above and beyond means discipline.
   
5. Low energy? Too bad but there are several low energy options and no excuses.
6. Finally- quit counting good food, bad food, calories, lbs, measurements, glasses of water, and days worked out/missed.
7. You may only count days you went above and beyond and trade them for rewards and cheats (every other can be food).

If you can tell I HATE counting. I hate reciting what I did or did not do right. It's hurting the ol' self esteem machine. And after writing this and in my diary, I will have clear rules that I have to follow. There is no reason not to follow them. I am fail proof. I will not fail if I try. I cannot stay comfortable and be happy- that needs to stay a reality for me. Getting healthier is getting happier and more comfortable.

There are two different kinds of comfortable. The kind where you don't sweat through every shirt and you aren't winded from two stairs cases. There is the kind of comfortable where yes is the answer to every and anything, even though you aren't happier or healthier for it. Comfortable does not equal complacent or physical distortia. I was comfortable and happy, but I need to realize that being healthier means being happier. I need all three.

I can't have anyone demean me and I can't threaten myself into action. I have to have a positive push: Me + exercise + daily activity= comfortable, healthy, and happy

AND I shouldn't settle for less than ALL three. And this is the biggest lesson:
All that discipline I thought I needed was really only to get started. Once it is a lifestyle, a routine, a common activity it is essential and it is like breathing. You make it essential. Discipline for the first 10 times and practice for the rest to make it essential.

Ok I'm superstitious so I won't say what my plan is... I don't want to jinx myself. But I will say that I'm re-energized to be very positive. I will post my results (in an undisclosed time) for all to see what some positive rewards and actions can do for the physical body.

I woke up to a stranger. Kris is gone for the weekend. I slept in. Really slept in. I have been naturally waking up for weeks before 8 am every day. Well I woke up around 9:30am and took my time to stretch. As I langoriously awoke to a beautiful sunny day, I was startled by.... this person.


I was startled to see her when I'm used to...


Can you see the difference? Well I can feel it!

Today was a roller coaster! Happy, sad, weepy, angry, clumsy, scary, and terrible. I was up and I was down.

Things have been better than ever and I've been meaner to myself than ever. I have been working out for 4 days per week. oHHHH but no! I yell at myself for not getting 5 DAYS! I ate cake last week and I beat myself up.

I was super tired and unmotivated today but I pushed myself and worked out anyways. Turn the music up and get my jog on. I went 2 miles for 48 and then I did weight lifting. 1.5 hours of exercise! Stretching for like 15 or 20 minutes. Drank lots of water!

Thank goodness for groovy music. That's the only way I can exercise some days.

Sunny Friday

While I have no energy and a migraine upon waking, I think I can manage some exercise today. I'm skipping the coffee this morning because I think it will make me feel ill. I may have tea but who knows!

What I love about April is that the sun is here and it likes to get up earlier, but still takes it's lazy time until around noon or one. And then it hangs out with you until late and then peters away. It isn't a forceful sun like July or August. The leaves on the trees outside my windows make me feel so good every year. I makes me thankful for our apartment and the big windows. It also makes me want to play outside. I played outside yesterday... in Beth's yard. Kris mowed with a push reel mower (funny to see). I played with my niece. We sat around, ate dinner, and made a campfire to roast homemade marshmellows on. Because of yesterday's sugar overload- though it was very delicious- I need to cleanse my system and drink a ton of water and eat healthy. It is harder when I'm on my period and I give in to sweets more.

I will be tired today- I can already feel that. Without coffee I'll drag even more. But I hope to exercise before the end of the day. Maybe I'll do yoga... That's very soothing and cleansing and I'm sore all over. Yoga it is!

I've got back on the bandwagon. It was a lot easier that I imagined. I just did it! Having a baby to look forward is quite a motivator.

Treadmill work outs x2 this week so far
Push up challenge x1
Sit up challenge x2

Waist:39.25
Goal: 34

I think the strength training will be what really sets me up to lose some waist inches.

I admit I need more food and more often meals and more water. I'm working on that part. but I popped in to say "YAY I have gotten into exercising and I'm loving it!"

This rotation was created by Jillian herself and you can find the .pdf download at ExerciseTV.com. I also heard that the results from this rotation is impressive.

DAY 1 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 2 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 3 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES
DAY 4 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 5 - BANISH FAT, BOOST METABOLISM
DAY 6 - QUICK TROUBLE ZONES (NMTZ w/ no floorwork)
DAY 7 - OFF!
DAY 8 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 9 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 2
DAY 10 - QUICK TROUBLE ZONES (NMTZ w/ no floorwork)
DAY 11 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 2
DAY 12 - BANISH FAST, BOOST METABOLISM
DAY 13 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES
DAY 14 - OFF!
DAY 15 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 16 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 2
DAY 17 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES
DAY 18 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 1
DAY 19 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES
DAY 20 - BANISH FAT, BOOST METABOLISM
DAY 21 - OFF!
DAY 22 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 2
DAY 23 - QUICK TROUBLE ZONES(NMTZ w/ no floorwork)
DAY 24 - BANISH FAT, BOOST METABOLISM
DAY 25 - QUICK TROUBLE ZONES(NMTZ w/ no floorwork)
DAY 26 - OFF!
DAY 27 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES
DAY 28 - BANISH FAT, BOOST METABOLISM
DAY 29 - 30 DAY SHRED: LEVEL 2 AND THEN LEVEL 1
DAY 30 - NO MORE TROUBLE ZONES

That's right. Thigh monsters. I have been working out on the bike so much that my thighs are getting bigger with muscle. I was concerned for a few weeks there about not losing lbs but now that I know I have massive thigh giants I feel better. I bought pants for my anniversary trip today. They were not at a perfect size... no. But nothing could phase me today because...

I lost 2 in. and 3 lbs in the past week. I met goals more than half the time and am making progress.

So I'm feeling good with my pants size that is twice what i want it to because I bought them at ross so they weren't expensive. AND MY EFFORTS ARE STARTING TO SHOW! I was worried for a while there.

Goals for this week:
veggies
water
30 min shorter/intense workouts 6 days.
keep workin on inches!!
don't let my period detract my from my goals and dreams!

tt for now peeps

i just exercised for 35 min with a goal of 290 calories burned (according to the little machine), and afterwards i thought "since i'm still sweaty, I'll stretch" while i stretched, i combed the cat, then had to vacuum the hair, then vacuumed the whole room, then vacuumed the bathroom and kitchen, then mopped the entire kitchen for the first time in years, and was working out/being active the whole time!!!

i had the energy and just kept going, being active and it felt great....

i'm going to do some homework now, just thought i'd share

I met my goals last week so I had a cane cola from Borders coffee shop and made a pie this weekend. A sugar/fat free pudding, banana, fat free cool whip, and peanut butter :D it was yummy.


Goals for this week!!!

• aerobic exercise with 2-3x 10 minute work outs
• improve stretching add yoga
• one long endurance workout
• stay caught up with spark food
• stay caught up with water
• maintain all that i've been doing
• work on visualizing

Reward!!

• new clothes/walking shoes for san fran vacation
• coffee 1-2 times/week, and weekends only

Pounds are fluctuating which means 3 things, but they are rounding downwards

1. i need more water regulation
2. i am gaining muscle
3. i'm looking at the scale too often!!!

Anywho tah tah for now!